I saw my great doctor today. More for talk than any specific diabetes related issue. Well actually talk about diabetes in general and how it layers over everything. And how that can compromise quality of life if it layers over other health or life challenges. My shoulder continues to nag at me, wake me up at night, ache. Is it the computer, diabetes, posture, exercise, lack of exercise? Should I do acupuncture, yoga, sit still, stop blogging, gut through the pain, ice, heat, massage it? When it flares up, is it related to low or high bloodsugars? Should I try the sensor to see what's going on at night? Am I compromising my quality of life by making so many accomodations to my diabetes? Less travel when I have the choice, a slower pace to make room for the inevitable bad days. Or should I just gut through, take it all on, regardless of the fatigue, the ups and downs, the blood sugar roller coaster that has to date, been the result of this approach? Am I making the right choices, I asked? Am I doing it well enough? Sigh. And well yes, there were a few tears too. Poor man. He was, as always, great. He let me vent and wring my hands. He helped me come to the decision to try the sensor. He's going to get me in to see a shoulder specialist who also really gets diabetes. He told me I was doing fine. He said it would be ok.
And I know that he's right. I know that I'm doing the best I can. I know that it's a lot of choice to manage and a lot of information to navigate. And I also know that there is never one right answer. Things change. Context morphs. Priorities shift. Everyday I make decisions about many things. And always, always, diabetes is a layer on top. Always, there is diabetes to consider. Always.