I went to bed a little blue last night, hoping that today would be better. I expected it to get better once I woke up, but instead it got better in a dream beforehand.
I've had animals my whole life, and they rank as one of my greatest sources of joy. I'd place them tops on my list of what helps me in living with diabetes. I have 2 dogs now, Ruppert and Flora and they are just the bees knees. Before them we had a wonderful, funny dog named Cookie (her name before we got her). We got her at the local humane society when she was 6 years old and had her for 5 delightful years. My husband used to call her the "dog of good cheer" and oh, she was just that. It's like she smiled with happiness, and was up for pretty much anything. Having said that, it was obvious too, that she'd been treated poorly by her former owners because she was skittish and easily frightened. But over the too short time we had her, she grew to be calm and silly and happy. Cookie, the vunderhund. Unfortunately though, her last year was a tough one. Her health began to deteriorate and after countless tests and treatments, we still never found out what was wrong with her. She basically just wasted away and over time, her quality of life diminished profoundly. About 18 months ago, we made the difficult decision to put her down which was so painful, but in the end, the most humane thing to do. The kind vet came to our house and she died in my lap, in our garden with the birds singing and the wind blowing around us. It was very, very sad and I miss her every day.
Which brings me to last night. I had the most vivid dream about Cookie. It really felt like she'd literally visited me, which sounds silly but feels true. In the dream I saw her lying in the road with her back to me. I approached her, fearful that she was injured, but when I got there, she rolled over onto her back, asking to have her belly scratched as she always did. She seemed so happy to see me and I was just overjoyed. She licked my face and nibbled my chin gently, something she used to do to me every morning when she was alive. She stayed with me for a while and a feeling of warm comfort and calm washed over me. It was as if she was coming to comfort me when I needed it most. When I woke, I felt totally content and happy. The vividness of my dream of Cookie has lingered through the day, as well as the realization that in fact, everything is, and will be, ok. It's amazing to me, but she is still bringing me comfort and joy. How wonderful is that?