I'm going to start working with a trainer, to add some core strength to my exercise program. Because all I do, since my shoulder saga began a couple of years ago (yes, it's been years...), is walk every day, 1-2 miles a day. Anything much else and my shoulder gets cranky and sore and wakes me up at night. Plus I've been dealing with other medical stuff so I've become a little nervous about doing anything more than the walking. And of course, underlying all of the above is diabetes, my happy friend that never goes away.
So I decided that it is time for some help from a professional. A personal trainer, who I just met a couple of days ago. She asked me about my goals and I said something about more strength and flexibility, about becoming more well rounded in my fitness. The usual stuff. And then I had a moment of clarity and realized that though these were definite goals, my biggest goal was actually about becoming less afraid. Less afraid of injury, less afraid of doing too much, less afraid in general. After 20 years of managing diabetes, I've become so careful and aware of pace, that I'm beginning to feel a little too tentative about my physical activity. It's a known fact that exercise adds another variable to diabetes control. There's lots to consider like frequency, intensity, consistency, food, hydration, pace. And then there is the inevitable affect it has on blood sugars, in the immediate moment and, as in my case, often many hours later. That coupled with the slow recovery from multiple shoulder issues and recovery from recent surgery, it's understandable why I might be a bit reticent to dive in unattended. But as it stands now, I'm also reticent to remain reticent about diving in at all. And that's the rub. And the challenge. And the goal. Less afraid, more strong. At the right pace, given all my particular needs. Train to be strong physically as well as training emotionally to become a bit stronger about trying new stuff. So I'm looking forward to working with someone who is a professional at this process. So I can feel less afraid and get on with the strength part of the equation. We'll see how it goes.