I've started to exercise, with a personal trainer. Which is great. I can already see and feel the difference. In a good way. Well, at least until last night. In the past, as I have gotten more fit, my insulin needs would decrease fairly quickly. Well, 3 weeks into my new exercise regimen, and I'm already starting to see the difference. Especially on the day I work out with my trainer. Which was yesterday. I thought I had it all figured out. Hm. Not so much, it turns out. I ate before, tested afterward, ate a snack, went low anyway, covered the low, rebounded, went too high, made the mistake of correcting the high and wham, it's the middle of the night and I'm jolted from a dream, wicked low, pounding headache, sweaty all over, grasping for food. This was a hard core low. Really intense, really physical. All was well of course, but I feel pretty crappy today. From getting woken up in the middle of the night, from the rollercoaster of low, high, LOW, from the intensity of the reaction, hell, even from my soar muscles from the work out.
I know I made a mistake by overcorrecting. I know my metabolism is changing because of the increased exercise. I know that I will feel better soon. But still I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I'm struck with how physical a low like that is. I haven't had one that harsh for ages, so I guess I'm a little out of practice. My control has been good lately and quite frankly, I've been recovering from other physical stuff, so I haven't been working out like I am now. But wow, do I feel humbled now. And a little shaky. Emotionally, I mean. I was feeling so good about getting back into active exercising, even in spite of the nagging worry that something like this might happen. Good and strong. And then wham! I'm reminded how harsh this disease can be. Grabbing at food, adrenaline pumping. Visceral. Physical. Urgent.
Last night reminded me of the edges of my physical reality and I have to admit that I feel a bit sad because of it. A bit sad for now. I'm sure that tomorrow I'll feel better.