I've been in a bad mood about my diabetes lately. Feeling extremely sorry for myself. I've gone down the rabbit hole of self pity and though it's totally understandable, it's not a fun place to be. I know this happens on occasion but today it stops. Half empty is becoming half full. Feeling the way I've been feeling only makes me lonelier and grumpier and harsher. And ultimately it only hurts me. Though I understand why it happens and I can even justify it, I woke up this morning realizing that I had a choice here. So enough of the boo-hoo and on to the ya-hoo. It's sunny and gorgeous and the day is young. Happy day.
I don't know how to write this so it comes across as tenderly as I mean it. But here it goes....Maybe if you could do some volunteer work with people who are sicker than you, it would help you feel less sorry for yourself. I have diabetes too and I drive a paratransit bus. There is nothing like spending the day with people who are blind,missing legs or getting dialysis regularly to put things in perspective.It also helps me keep my sugars in check by being face to face with what can happen.
Posted by: Jenny Fillius | July 03, 2007 at 09:16 PM
I appreciate your insight and the intent of your comment. And I think it's very good advice. It's all about context isn't it? But I do think it's about choice too. You're right that seeing what other people are struggling with and helping where you can is important. I also think that understanding more deeply, that the way it is (with having diabetes) can be hard but ok too, regardless of how it compares to others. What's certainly not debatable is that giving of yourself to others always helps. So point well taken and thanks for caring enough to share it!
Posted by: birdie | July 04, 2007 at 10:08 AM
I am feeling in myself and observing on the O.C. that summertime is hard on the diabetes front...I mean, especially hard. I read of fatigue, fear and failure...and I definitely relate. Of course, everyone comes around to dealing or finding a way "up". But, is this a summer season trend that could use a closer look? Food for thought...for you ~ a thinker.
Posted by: Jayne | July 05, 2007 at 04:34 AM
I think you're probably on to something Jayne. What comes up for me about summer is that as a season, it represents a real shift in our routines. Nice weather, longer days, vacations, more social events like barbeques, all these things add up to a level of change in the pace and schedule of our days. And like any change, even the subtle ones, our diabetes can be affected. Physically it can mean lower bloodsugars because of more activity. Or higher ones because of exposure to foods we normally aren't around during the rest of the year. Psychologically, it can mean that we're more aware of all it takes to be "normal", to do that extra hike or plan for that camping trip. I'm speculating of course, but maybe summer just means we're faced with our diabetes a bit more than usual and that translates into more "fatigue, fear and failure" as you say. Who knows for sure, but what a great observation nonetheless!
Posted by: birdie | July 06, 2007 at 07:20 AM
Indeed. It is all those things. Thanks for thinking it through and sharing it. The bittersweet summer is a bit more understandable...and alittle more sweet as the burden is shared. Take care, Birdie.
Posted by: Jayne | July 07, 2007 at 04:10 PM