another see-saw.

I've been thinking about numbers lately. My last A1C wasn't as fabulous as it could have been. They're still fine but not where they've been and not where I want them to be. But after 20 + years, I know the drill. And quite frankly, I'm not over-revving on the situation too much. This happens. It will get better because I'll work at it more or something out of my hands will change or fall will come and it will be easier to manage. This disease is about flow. Going with it, pacing reactions, taking a deep breath and letting it play itself out. It's weird but I have a level of nonchalance about this which is very, very new for me. I'm trusting the process and looking long. It's taken a long time to get here but I think it's a good place to be.

Having said that, I realize too, that even with my new found attitude, I still worry. I get that too. The worry is motivation, the guardrail on the other side of nonchalance. There is a balancing act here (isn't there always with diabetes) between the worry that negatively colors living and the nonchalance that can become denial. I used to just worry but now I guess I'm striking a better balance between the two now and it feels different. Better, weird, different. Nonchalance and worry. Yet another see-saw to experience with diabetes.

Comments

[Scott K. Johnson]

Yes, there is always a balancing act. I think we are all very good at balancing, at least until something new comes along that we have to deal with (and re-learn how to balance again).

Looking long is a great way to be. Often so hard when so much of this thing is micromanaging every single minute of our lives.

I think that we can get to a point where that micromanagement can happen in the background, and our long view is what is in the forefront.

That greatly helps our balance because we are not so overly focused on the micromanagement.

Great post. You are so good at taking some abstract thoughts about things and breaking them down into words. It is a real talent, and I'm so glad that you are sharing it with us. It is something that helps me personally a great deal. Thank you!

Take care!

[Minnesota Nice]

I agree with Scott - a beautiful post. A few people have been writing about "the flow" lately.
I really like your phrase "trusting the process and looking long". So true. So true.

[Lyrehca]

Hear, hear! I'm with you on the nonchalance and the guardrail of worry. I wonder if it takes people decades of living with diabetes to reach this point.

[Jayne]

Thank you for that! I needed my vision adjusted. Time to look long...and take the short distance in stride.