I've been thinking about numbers lately. My last A1C wasn't as fabulous as it could have been. They're still fine but not where they've been and not where I want them to be. But after 20 + years, I know the drill. And quite frankly, I'm not over-revving on the situation too much. This happens. It will get better because I'll work at it more or something out of my hands will change or fall will come and it will be easier to manage. This disease is about flow. Going with it, pacing reactions, taking a deep breath and letting it play itself out. It's weird but I have a level of nonchalance about this which is very, very new for me. I'm trusting the process and looking long. It's taken a long time to get here but I think it's a good place to be.
Having said that, I realize too, that even with my new found attitude, I still worry. I get that too. The worry is motivation, the guardrail on the other side of nonchalance. There is a balancing act here (isn't there always with diabetes) between the worry that negatively colors living and the nonchalance that can become denial. I used to just worry but now I guess I'm striking a better balance between the two now and it feels different. Better, weird, different. Nonchalance and worry. Yet another see-saw to experience with diabetes.