I have to admit that I've been a bit reticent to write since my last post was so positive. I have always felt a pressure to have a upbeat attitude about my diabetes. People like it that way. Hell, I like it that way. So it's a little hard to come off a positive place and be well, frustrated or sad. I feel like I should just be quiet at times like these and keep it to myself. Which is also OK sometimes. Sometimes the feelings just pass through. No need to make them bigger than they are.
But. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Lot's of highs. And that's got me down and frustrated. I had to travel last week, and that always adversely affects my b/s control. High, high, high. This last week has been crazed at work and at home too. I'm running to keep up with all that is going on. And for some reason, I'm low in the day and high at night. Why, I ask myself? Why, why, why? I don't have the sensor yet so it's experiment time. Up my basal at night. See what happens. Last night I was low at bedtime so I had to have a snack, so unfortunately this morning, I'm high again. And the mystery continues. We'll see how tonight goes. We'll see.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that this stuff bums me out. It nags at the back of my mind during the day. I know I need to be patient and that it will get figured out. But for now at least, I'm having trouble not being frustrated. My recent words keep coming back to me. "Look at the long view", "go with the flow". Well I'm looking and I'm flowing but man, I like it better when I'm doing that and my blood sugars are good! It's easy to be accepting when things are going well. Not so much when they're not.
But I guess that goes without saying. Sigh.