I realized the other day, that what's been happening lately is that I'm reaching another level of acceptance about having diabetes. For a while, the word that came up for me about the place I'm in, was resignation. A bit like crying uncle. Like that moment when you're arm wrestling with someone and you realize there's no way you're going to win the match. You just let go and bam, your fist is on the table. But after a lot of thought, I'm seeing that what's really happening here isn't resignation but rather, a deepening of acceptance. Acceptance about having diabetes and all that it means. Yes, there are days of fatigue or days of frustration whether it be with blood sugars or medical institutions. But there are also days when I don't notice diabetes so much. This is what my life is like. Ebbs and flows that never stop.
I have also realized that with this acceptance comes a new, strengthening calm. A quiet relief in not fighting the unwinnable part of the battle so hard and just going with the flow. I'll get the sensor and let it give me the information I need. I'll take the days off when I need to rejuvenate. I'll relish the beauty and goodness in my life and lead with the things I can control. I've felt a new quiet lately and what I'm hearing now is a whisper from deep down inside that says it's all going to be ok. Soft. Quiet. Calm.