What do I lead with?
When I woke up this morning, having been up a couple of times with a very high blood sugar during the night, I thought about this question. I've had nights like last night a thousand times before. Sometimes, if it's days in a row like it can be, I feel defeated and tired. Other times, when it's a result of something I've done, like eat the wrong food or thrown caution to the wind as we all do on occasion, I just feel resigned to the result. And still other times, when I have no clue as to why it's happened, I just feel stupid or confused.
Whatever the reason, and really whatever the feeling the next day, I am coming to realize that I always have a choice as to what I lead with. After 20 + years of doing this dance, it's hard to remember that sometimes. Do I lead with diabetes or do I just get on with the day? Sometimes the diabetes aspect of my life crowds out this truth and I forget I have a choice. Other times, I do think it makes sense to lead with diabetes because it is burdensome and fatiguing and pretending it isn't so, exacts it's own kind of toll. But most times, like this morning, I think it's best to lead with the promise of the day ahead. I think today I'll focus on all the possibilities and try to quiet the noise of diabetes where I can. I'll deal with the technical issues at hand, like I always have to do. And then I'll move on quickly. Yes, I'm tired this morning and yes, I'm bummed that I didn't figure it out last night, but heh, today's a new day and I'm sick of the tyranny of diabetes. As much as I can today, I'm silencing it's nagging noise and moving on. And really, in the end, isn't that the goal of living well with this disease? Isn't it about attending to it's demands and then silencing it as much as possible, so we can get on with the living of the rest of our lives?
And anyway, today is a holiday, so luckily there can be a luxurious nap in my future. Happy days.
So very good. I was up in the night with my daughter's D. Now my D needs attention. If it is not one of us it is the other. Your thoughts make me D-termined to find the D-light in these Days.
Posted by: Jayne | September 03, 2007 at 10:39 AM
Very timely post. Had to cancel my run this morning due to a high induced by (a) a set that had been in 1 day too long and (b) dinner with friends at an Italian restaurant. Most days I can shrug it off, but today was not one of them, and it took me until about noon to stop being ticked off and get my BG down. Maybe because both of those factors were within my control. Tomorrow is indeed a new day though. Hope you had a great nap!
Posted by: carol | September 03, 2007 at 04:14 PM
I felt the same way. Being sick of the tyrany of diabetes is sooo common. I have shared this with a great friend of mine and I will share it with you, there are so many options to live a great life. Try taking a look at what helped me.
http://www.diabetesdoneright.com/
Posted by: Melissa | September 10, 2007 at 11:48 AM
Thanks again for a great post. I spent all vacatgion at Myrtle beach not leading with diabetes and I did pretty well. Then, I woke up wit h a sugar of 260 this morning and realized today is a day I lead with diabetes. I have the choice.
Posted by: Amylia | September 10, 2007 at 03:17 PM