Everybody has only so much reserve to deal with the annoyances and struggles in life. As I get older, the idea of my reserve as a precious thing has become clearer to me. Especially in light of my life as a person living with diabetes. Diabetes taps on a lot of my human reserve, some days more than others, but certainly to some to degree pretty much every day. For me the choice I see isn't whether or not to deal with what diabetes presents, but rather, with what level of grace and composure I can muster in dealing with it. And that's where that wonderful, little savings account of energy and wisdom comes into play. That's when I tap on my reserve. And usually, knock on wood, I can rally, or find comfort, or just take a nap thanks to my reserve. Yes indeed, a reserve is a very precious thing.
So what's recently occured to me is that precious reserve I have, is a thing to be protected and cherished. It's an important tool in my diabetes tool box that shouldn't be frittered away on silliness or wasteful things. Like unnecessary drama or people who drain my energy or situations that just won't pay off in the long run. I know these people and situations, and I'm realizing that if I choose to be there too much, I have that much less of my reserve left to deal with the dramas and situations diabetes will most certainly present at any given moment. My reserve is not endless after all. It can be tapped out. It needs to be replenished with energy givers and comforting experiences and just plain fun. I don't know why but this feels like a pretty big revelation and game changer for me.
Now I'm not so delusional as to think that all of the everyday annoyances of life can be avoided. Life has lot's of dramas and drama queens and kings that you just have to deal with. But what I'm just beginning to understand after 21 years with diabetes, is that where I can, avoiding the people and things that unnecessarily drain my reserve is a really, really good idea. Diabetes is unrelenting and unending. My reserve is not. Focusing my energy and time on taking care of replenishing and feeding it, means I'm better equipped to cope with all that diabetes throws my way. And that's something that can only be really good in the long run.