My friend who got diabetes last year is now on the insulin pump. She's so cool. She's an inspiration to me in many ways, especially in her grace in dealing with all the changes that diabetes has brought to her life. I can't say enough about her because she's just so cool.
Like how she wears her pump. Out in the open, clipped to her jeans back pocket, there for the world to see. Not like me who discreetly clips it to my waistband, conscious of every time my sweater rides up and reveals my clunky, not so pretty friend. Conscious and constantly tugging to cover it up and keep it as much out of view as possible. It's not that I'm ashamed of the pump but rather that I just don't want to lead with it. "Hi there, I have a pump, oh by the way, did you know I was diabetic", you know, that kind of thing. Or that's at least what I used to think until my cool friend came along and showed me another way. Every time I see her, totally styled out and as groovy as she's always been, moving through her day gracefully with her square chunk of a pump clamped nonchalantly to her back pocket or sweater, I find myself needing to stop and catch my breath. I'm totally floored, flabbergasted, flummoxed. Not by her. By me. Why have I been so nervous about showing my pump I ask myself? Why have I worried so much about someone seeing it? When I see my friend I'm struck with the question, what does it matter? She's so cool and sassy and stylish with her pump that I realize it's really ok to show it. In fact, it's totally ok.
What this has taught me is that it helps a lot to be actually be around other people who have diabetes once in a while. It's a good thing to actually see other healthy ways of dealing with this disease. It's fine to choose my own way, but being exposed to other options along the way, makes the choosing that much more informed and personal. I'm so completely grateful and lucky to have the chance to do this now with one person, one friend.
And who knows, maybe one day I'll feel less self conscious about showing my pump and just clip that puppy to my jeans pocket on the way out the door. Or maybe not, but at least now I know I have that option, thanks to my friend.