My husband and I went out to dinner the other night. I got to the restuarant a little earlier than he did, so I took the opportunity to take a blood test before the meal. The waitress must have seen me do it because later on, after we'd finished our meal and were ordering dessert she said something to me about it. She said, "You're diabetic aren't you? You're going to go easy on that dessert right?" My husband has a sweet tooth and so we usually order one dessert for him and I'll take a couple of bites and that will be it. We'd done that very thing this time around, one tiramisu, two forks please. I was so surprised by the waitress' comment that it took me a couple of seconds to regain my composure. And when I did, I have to admit that I was pretty surprised by my own response. It wasn't a comment like "that's none of your business" or "excuse me but who asked you for your opinion?" No it was nothing like that. Instead I found myself explaining that I was on the pump and I could take a bolus to cover the sweetness, and that it was ok for me to have a bite or two. But I didn't stop there. No I just kept babbling on about how I get to have a few treats here and there. That I wasn't going to have a whole dessert, just a couple of small bites. Geez. I just barely stopped short of saying "no really miss waitress, stranger to me, I'm really a GOOD diabetic. Really!"
I haven't been able to shake this encounter. It's left a sour taste in my mouth that no two bites of tiramisu could ever wipe out. What's stuck with me is less about the presumption and frankly, rudeness of the waitress and much more about my own reaction to her comment. I'm a bit saddened by my need to explain and justify my actions to anyone, let alone a complete stranger. I'm surprised by how insecure and judged I felt. Where did that come from? I know in my heart that I'm dedicated and disciplined. I'm not overweight, I have good and consistent A1C's and I rarely overindulge in sweets. And yet, there it was, this overwhelming need to explain myself, out of the blue. I'm still shaking my head about it. I'm still surprised.
Image (ironically from googling tiramisu randomly) from ezeediabetes.