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I think this is great. To own the choices we make. As you say, it makes you feel as you are less of a victim.

The next big thing I need to work on is to try to understand what is going on in my head when I make the same bad choices over and over again. There's something there that I need to work on, but just haven't put the effort in yet.

"Or decide not to decide."

That part makes perfect sense to me. I decided not to decide today when I sat down for a three hour working lunch of cripsy, delicious pizza and a lingering cappuccino. I decided to wing it when I bolused and I had to correct the 197 mg/dl I experienced later in the afternoon.

It may be deemed "wrong" and "irresponsible" by some, but I can't spend every second of my life counting and calculating and worrying about having diabetes in my life. I do the best I can. I make that choice to try.

I own every single choice I make. And I can say that with pride.

Definitely true that it helps to realize that our choices do affect the results AND most importantly this makes a diabetic feel less of a victim! Why do we keep trying things that do not work? Well, how many times have doctors given you information that doesn't work. Proteins and fats definitely affect you bg values, as they do mine. Just adding 30g more lean white chicken will influence my night bg values. My doctors really did not want to believe that such small amounts of protein did influence my bg values. Maybe this explains why we repeatedly try things that do not work - because others around us keep telling us that our own conclusions are incorrect. There is just so much we do not yet know about this disease. Diabetes seems to affect people so very differently, so there are no simple quidelines to follow!

Yes, it's about owning and even relishing the choices we have. And also knowing that there is more of a burden in having everything be a choice. Before diabetes, what I ate didn't pose such ramifications. But now it does and though it tires me out sometimes, it's the reality I have to live with.

I couldn't agree with Kerri more, about the pride in owning every single choice. It seems to me that frankly, the upside to the "burden" of all this choice, is that if you accept your part in it, you get to own your life in a far more profound way. How others characterize it is really not important. The "perfect state" of management is theoretical, not human. Again, I agree that it's about trying our best and celebrating all the choices, without harsh judgement of good and bad. "Bad" choices aren't bad, if they are in fact, something you are weighing and then deciding to do because the outcome is one you want. Pizza and cappuccino sounds like heaven to me. And that's what we get when we own all my choices. An authentic life full of adjustments and pizza, dedication and courage, discipline and treats.

And also thanks for reminding me Chrissie about the fact that it takes experimentation and testing of "the rules", to know what works best for my particular body. Trying something that "doesn't work" is a great way to see what actually does work for us individually. And then once I know what works for me, knowing that I still might choose to do something that doesn't, is fine by me. I've done it before and I'll do it again. At the end of the day, this is about life, not getting an A in diabetes.

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