mind and body disconnect.

It's been a few days since I got off the sensor. I was supposed to be wearing it for 6 days but it went wonky on day 5 so after consulting with my nurse, I took it off. Though it never hurt while I was wearing it, it was amazing how relieved I felt when I removed it. I seemed to relax in a place that I hadn't known was tense. Deep down. Away from my brain. It's almost like my body has an intelligence of it's own, seperate from my intellectual, analytical mind. No matter how much my mind says, "this is good for me", my body, somewhere deep inside is saying, "get this foreign thing out of here". I exist in between my honest appreciation and desire for technological advances that will elevate my care on one hand, and my primal, physical resistance to the very same technology on the other. Which leaves me tired and conflicted. Both feelings are powerful and deeply compelling. Both tug at me hard. And there's no clear answer, just more choices and questions to navigate. It's good to have choices, but it's also very tiring sometimes. Especially when your mind and body aren't on the same page.

Comments

[Scott K. Johnson]

I so agree with you. Again, I'm amazed at just how you are able to so eloquently put words to some of the very primal emotions I have about this stuff.

I too am thankful for the technology we have, I still think it is very, very primitive. I mean really - should it be normal for us to have to violate (poke, insert, bleed, infuse, inject) ourselves in order to survive?

[Jayne]

You continue to be gracious; you have perfect aim.
Thank you once again.

[Marina]

I feel the exact same way about my sensor. I was SO relieved to pull it out the first time (I'm only on week two) and then found myself making up various excuses to delay putting another one in for a good three days. (It's in now, finally.)

I am very comfortable with my Quickset insertion site, even when it appears through clothing or if I'm in a bathing suit, but I was invited to sit by the pool today and said no ... it's gorgeous but for some reason having this big sensor attached to my abdomen turned me off to the entire afternoon.

Hopefully this changes as we get more used to it / as they develop smaller sensors. (Really, why does the needle have to be THAT fat and THAT long when blood glucose monitors only use a tiny prick?)