I realized the other day, that what's been happening lately is that I'm reaching another level of acceptance about having diabetes. For a while, the word that came up for me about the place I'm in, was resignation. A bit like crying uncle. Like that moment when you're arm wrestling with someone and you realize there's no way you're going to win the match. You just let go and bam, your fist is on the table. But after a lot of thought, I'm seeing that what's really happening here isn't resignation but rather, a deepening of acceptance. Acceptance about having diabetes and all that it means. Yes, there are days of fatigue or days of frustration whether it be with blood sugars or medical institutions. But there are also days when I don't notice diabetes so much. This is what my life is like. Ebbs and flows that never stop.
I have also realized that with this acceptance comes a new, strengthening calm. A quiet relief in not fighting the unwinnable part of the battle so hard and just going with the flow. I'll get the sensor and let it give me the information I need. I'll take the days off when I need to rejuvenate. I'll relish the beauty and goodness in my life and lead with the things I can control. I've felt a new quiet lately and what I'm hearing now is a whisper from deep down inside that says it's all going to be ok. Soft. Quiet. Calm.
That's good to hear. :)
Posted by: In Search Of Balance | September 16, 2007 at 01:05 PM
Beautiful.
Posted by: Scott K. Johnson | September 16, 2007 at 06:57 PM
What a wonderful entry. I'm proud and honored to be a witness to your amazing life and journey. I adore you.
Posted by: amy | September 18, 2007 at 04:34 PM
Lovely post, as usual, Birdie.
I felt better just reading it.
Posted by: Minnesota Nice | September 19, 2007 at 02:22 PM
I believe in listening most to those soft whispers.
Thanks for another lovely post, Birdie. I really love reading your blog, and am grateful that you are out there. I am often amazed by the fact that my deepest heart, my most private reflections and my lovely little fleeting thoughts are echoed in your words.
Posted by: Amylia | September 22, 2007 at 01:23 PM