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I can completely understand the feeling of just going through the motions, and I've been doing this whole diabetes thing for a lot less than you. So I can only imagine what all these years have done to your mental fortitude. I wish I had some kind of motivational wand to wave. I guess all I can offer is my moral support. Hopefully you can shed the funk.

"By not seeing the choice I make everyday to continue to pay attention to this disease, I miss the poignancy and importance of that act. I miss the gift I give myself. At the end of the day, I deny myself a truth about diabetes, that the stakes are as high as they ever were."

Again, Birdie, another poignantly rendered piece. You bring up a lot of valid points that I, too, need to remind myself of (we all do, do we not)? I am sure that many non-diabetics can relate to this as well. Even thinking of the cheesy show "The Biggest Loser," I'm reminded of how hard it is to make the decision, day after day, to choose health and optimal living over old habits or ways of being in the world, in our bodies, and in our souls.

I think after 20+ years we all kinda just go through the motions on autopilot much of the time, and that's precisely why I love your reflections. ((hugs))

I too love your reflections. They help me see more clearly some of the vague and challenging undercurrents that I fight with.

I have searched other blogs to 'see' the side of diabetes that only a diabetic knows and I never keep them as favorites because they don't convey what you alway do. Honesty. Thanks for taking the time.

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